Three’s company? Diving into female friendship trios through challenges and celebrations
The trio of besties played by Leslie Libb, Carrie Coon and Michelle Monaghan in The White Lotus. Pic/Instagram@mslesliebibb
White Lotus season 3 is triggering for many reasons—the incestuous brothers, the anxiety-ridden father, the evil French lady out to cause chaos—but to us the
female friendship trio is the most troublesome. Three friends— played by Leslie Bibb (Kate), Carrie Coon (Laurie) and Michelle Monaghan (Jaclyn)—are vacationing in an ideal location. There is sun, sand, cocktails and hot men—but the ladies are not happy.
What starts off as a vacation that promises to give the childhood friends a chance to bond like they used to, ends up being a test of how much do the friends really even like each other. It starts with things like Laurie and Jaclyn judging Kate on voting for Trump, to Laurie and Kate gossiping about Jaclyn’s need to get validation from men, to Kate and Jaclyn commenting on how Laurie was stuck in a rut, to a full blown argument over, well, men. It raises issues about how much are we really okay to let go in a relationship, and brings up topics such as resentment, jealousy and bitterness in friendships.
The ladies at Sunday mid-day have all been part of the controversial trio friendship, and have all survived to tell the tale. Here are our we-did-it-so-can-you-or-maybe-not stories.
‘No pictures, just food’
Carol, Reena and I are former colleagues and intermittent friends. Intermittent because we don’t meet very frequently; months go by without us getting together. But we are in touch on WhatsApp, and share life and work updates—again, not very frequently.
When we meet, however, we throw ourselves into it so thoroughly that in all the years we’ve gone out together, we have not taken even one pic of ourselves!
The three of us got together as a group long after we each had left our mutual workplace, and it was a common interest in food that was the catalyst. We decided we would try certain specific eating joints, and this became the draw for our get-togethers. Oddly, though, we haven’t taken pictures of the food either. We just eat and talk—about everything under the sun.
Vidya Heble
‘We listen and we don’t judge’
Sunday mid-day editor Aastha Atray Banan and her circle of three in the final year of school (left) compared to the three later in lifeSunday mid-day editor Aastha Atray Banan and her circle of three in the final year of school (left) compared to the three later in life
My friend Nomeeta, who is an introvert by all worldly standards, always quotes her husband who tells her: “Thank god you have your two best friends who keep you sane”. It’s true. The three of us—Aastha, Nomeeta, and Sukhmani—now have been friends since we were 15. And for close to 27 years now, we have been each other’s ride or die—always there on a WhatsApp group that exists between Mumbai, Delhi and New Jersey.
What has kept this trio going is that even though we each have our individual bonds—we believe that we are best when together. And we never, ever indulge in a trio of emotions that could cause this to fall apart—jealousy, FOMO, and comparison. In fact, we find joy and comfort in how different we all are—often expressing happiness and pride over each other’s accomplishments. When we are together, we all share our deepest feelings in the first 20 minutes, however controversial they may be. The fact that we are never judged by our actions in life has made this a forever friendship. As they say, “We listen and we don’t judge.”
Aastha Atray Banan
‘Our one rule was no backbiting’
Pic/iStockPic/iStock
When I first moved to this city, my biggest support system were my two male besties, A and S. We had known each other since college, and we got along like eggs, butter and toast. But we also had separate, strong bonds with each other, outside of the group equation. We’d hang out as a trio nearly every day of the week, but we’d also set aside one-on-one time at least once a week. It’s what kept our group whole and healthy, and removed any chance of jealousy or FOMO. We had just one rule: we couldn’t bitch about anyone in the group if they weren’t present. All issues had to be resolved either between the two
