If I look at my friend Ed and say “how do you do Mrs. Wiley?” he will know exactly what I am saying. In fact, he might reply with something like “I would recognize that accent anywhere. It’s definitely Back Bay Boston.”
Ed and I are true geezers, which means each of us has crossed over the retirement bridge and can indulge in pasttimes as we choose.
And one of those is watching the Andy Griffith Show, which means we rewatch episodes from 60-plus years ago that are so familiar that we can easily quote favorite lines. In fact, we toss lines back and forth from episodes that we haven’t actually seen in years.
If all you know of great comedy shows in history are The Office or Seinfeld, let me tell you about the Andy Griffith Show. It debuted in 1960 and carved a huge niche in popular culture across its eight seasons on CBS. The first five seasons were broadcast in black and white and include all my favorite episodes.
Here’s a quick synopsis of the show. Andy Taylor was a widowed father of a young boy, as well as the sheriff of Mayberry, a small town in rural North Carolina. He was surrounded by a community of zany, eccentric characters, not the least of which was Deputy Barney Fife, played by Don Knotts.
Barney created a lot of havoc and most of the memorable moments from the Andy Griffith Show. If you know, you know.
After Ed and I swapped some favorite lines a few weeks ago, I began to wonder what did I consider my favorite episodes of the show. So, I sat down, drew up this list and found clips from each on Youtube.
Told you I was retired.
Anyway, I decided I wanted to share with you my favorite 10 episodes, or in some cases, specific scenes from the Andy Griffith Show. There are scores of other episodes that would qualify for this list, but these are my personal favs. I previously wrote about an episode of the show that isn’t included in this list. You might have a different take.
CITIZEN’S ARREST
I went back and forth with this, but Citizen’s Arrest ranks No. 1 in my book. Gomer, played so well by Jim Nabors, calls out Barney in downtown Mayberry for making an illegal U-turn in the cop car.
Key line:
“You hear that folks? There are two sets of laws; one for the police, and one for the ordinary citizens.”
CHECKPOINT CHICKIE
This episode might be considered 1A for me. Barney somehow gets ahold of a vintage WWII era motorcycle and turns into the cop we all hate to run into when we’re driving through small town America.
Key line: “I let you do 40 today, you’ll do 45 tomorrow; I let you do 45 tomorrow, you’ll do 50 the day after that; I let you do 50 the day after that you’ll do 55 the day after that …”
PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION
This is a special bonus clip because it’s actually just the conclusion of an episode in 1963, but one of the most memorable scenes from the entire run of the show. Deputy Fife ‘perfectly’ recalls the preamble to Andy.
Key line: “There are things in that book that I still remember to this day. Once you learn something it never leaves you. It’s amazing how that stuff stays with you.”
HOW DO YOU DO MRS. WILEY?
This is such a great episode. Andy tries to knock some rough edges off of mountain man Ernest T. Bass so he can mix with high society at a Mayberry social event. If it could go wrong, it did go wrong.
Key line: “I recognize that accent. Definitely Back Bay Boston.”
ESCAPED CONVICTS CAPTURE FLOYD AND BARNEY
A trio of female escaped convicts happen upon Floyd and Barney in the hills outside of town and take them hostage in a cabin. Then the fun begins, until Barney tangos one of the convicts into the waiting handcuffs of Sheriff Taylor.
Key line: “Let’s you and me dance. You kidding? No, I’m not. What made you change your mind? You’re beginning to get to me.”
NIP IT IN THE BUD
Andy deputizes a trio of townfolk to help with security at a big Mayberry event that evening. Barney then proceeds to bark orders at the men as if he’s a drill sergeant shaping up raw recruits.
Key line: “The minute it looks like there’s going to be trouble, we’ve got to nip it! Nip it in the bud!”
BARNEY AND THE CHOIR
Barney joins the community choir as it’s rehearsing for a big performance and sings way off key. His singing is so bad, the choir director wants to kick him out of the choir until Andy devises an incredibly funny solution.
Key line: “Oh, it’s no use, Andy. Can you tell a bird to just go chirp, chirp, chirp? No, Andy, I’m like a bird! I was born to sing!”
AUNT BEE’S KEROSENE PICKLES
Aunt Bee makes up a batch of pickles that taste like kerosene, but Andy and Barney pretend to like them because they won’t want to hurt her feelings. They sub her pickles out with store bought pickles on the sly. Then she decides to enter them in the County Fair pickle contest.
Key line: “I don’t know how I can face the future when I know there’s eight quarts of these pickles in it!”
MAN IN A HURRY
A big city businessman’s car breaks down in Mayberry, and he’s frustrated by the slow pace of the townspeople as he impatiently waits for the car to be repaired.
Key line: “For the love of Mike, do it! Do it! Go take a nap, go to Thelma Lou’s and watch TV.”
THE FUN GIRLS
I could not make this list without including the Fun Girls. They appeared in two episodes and brought chaos and levity to Mayberry — and blew up Andy and Barney’s relationships with their girlfriends, Helen and Thelma Lou.
Key lines: “Hello, Doll. Oh, Bernie!”
So, if you are a fan of the Andy Griffith Show like me and Ed, feel free to share your favorite episode or moment from the show in the comments to this post.
