Welcome to Station 19 , that series where there are days when life passes you by, and if that weren’t enough, fate decides to step on you. This week, Maya and Carina face the challenges of motherhood. Let’s see how they handle them!
Our episode begins with a baby crying loudly while Carina tries to change his diaper. The problem? Well, everything is still in boxes from the move, and she can’t find them. This might have been somewhat bearable, but Maya chose that exact moment to drill into the wall. And the combination of sounds was driving me crazy, so imagine Carina, who also had the baby pee on her blouse.
Carina is desperate, and Maya is trying to fix every little safety issue in the house. Sharp corners? They need to put little rubber things on them so the baby doesn’t hit them, cover the electrical outlets, etc. Carina almost has a fit and reminds her that there are still quite a few months until the baby is independent and they’ll have to worry about these things, but the diaper issue is imminent, and she wants it now!
The next time we see the girls, Carina is in the kitchen cooking, and Maya tiptoes in because she just put Liam in his crib and he fell asleep. Success! Well, no, they celebrated too soon because half a second later he wakes up crying. Maya wants to run out and pick him up, but Carina tells her to wait a couple of minutes, something the blonde isn’t the least bit happy about.
Maya: But he’s crying.
Carina: I know, but he’s never going to learn to calm down on his own if you don’t give him some space.
Maya: He’s a baby; he doesn’t need space. He needs to feel safe.
Carina: Yes, but letting him cry for a couple of minutes in a safe space will teach him some self-control.
Maya explains to Carina that she’s read that adopted children already have a wound from their mother leaving them, and that it can affect them forever. So she thinks they should practice “attachment parenting” with Liam. Carina tells her she perfectly understands that she’s trying to keep Liam from all of his problems. But sleeping with him isn’t going to make those things go away. Plus, she’s so afraid of smothering him while they sleep that she can’t sleep. And if there’s one thing they need right now, it’s time to rest.
Maya isn’t amused by Carina’s response, and simply leaves her in the kitchen and goes to take care of the baby.
The next time we see the girls, they’re both talking about the insane amount of laundry that comes with having a little one. The two are having a moment together, so Carina takes the opportunity to ask Maya if the whole attachment parenting thing has anything to do with seeing her brother.
Maya immediately gets defensive and tells her she’s taken a leap of faith with that conclusion, but Carina knows about Maya’s past. So she tries to reconnect with the conversation, telling her she understands her father was very strict with her and that maybe she thinks they would have had fewer problems if he had been more loving.
But Maya cuts her off by telling her that she already had therapy that week and has no intention of having it with her as well.
Carina: I’m just trying to understand you.
Maya: I’m not in the mood to talk about this. Do you want me to tell you about your dad?
Carina: Why are you so defensive? I’m just saying that we’re not our peers and I refuse to live in the shadow of his mistakes. I feel like you’re so worried about Liam falling, or drowning, or suffocating that you’re going to suffocate him by drowning him with your insecurities.
Wow! Let’s agree that Carina is right and she was trying to keep the conversation going, but with this response, she’s gone too far. And if Maya was already closed off before, with this sentence, she pulls a Chinese wall and flat-out decides to leave the house. So Carina is angry because she’s left the discussion hanging, and on top of that, she doesn’t even know where she went.
The next thing we see is Carina waiting by the window at night for Maya to arrive, her face half worried and half angry. When she sees her coming, she runs out, yelling that she can’t leave like that and that she’s called her a thousand times. Maya replies that she went for a walk to calm down and that she had her cell phone with her but never called her. She did call, though, but the battery died.
Carina yells at her that she’s rethought her entire life while she’s been waiting, that she doesn’t know if she’s going to help her take care of Liam or just bail when things get tough. Maya asks her to keep her voice down because half the neighborhood can hear them, but Carina doesn’t give a damn.
Liam starts crying inside the house, and when the two try to get in, they discover the door is locked. Carina left to argue without her keys, and now neither of them can get in.
The girls are desperately trying to get in, and Liam stops crying alone, a moment Carina uses to stab him in, saying he’s learned to handle himself. But Maya replies that it means he saw no one was helping him and lost all hope.
Maya also adds that she can open the door with a crowbar and has one in her car, but hers is locked and the keys are inside. She then asks Carina if she locked hers. The Italian woman tells her yes, that she’s married to her, so she’s already learned how to lock her car, but Maya tries it anyway, and voila ! She left it unlocked.
At dawn, when they’re both comfortably in bed, Maya confesses that she knows she’s gone too far with her worry. But the truth is, she’s overwhelmed. Carina replies that she is too. Maya suggests playing “truth or dare.” They have to say something that scares them, and it has to be true.
Carina confesses that she’s afraid they won’t let them adopt Liam . Maya is afraid Liam will have to live in a world filled with hate. Carina struggles with the thought that even if she does everything right, things can still go wrong. Maya confesses that she’s afraid she’ll die at work and leave her raising Liam alone.
Carina: I’m afraid that after days like these, you might not want to have any more children.
Maya: You don’t have to worry about that!
Carina: Are you sure? Because I’d still like to do artificial insemination.
Maya: Yes, that sounds good to me.
I loved that when they finally put their insecurities on the table and spoke honestly about their fears, they were both able to find common ground. Because the truth is, they both want the same thing; it’s just that stress and exhaustion sometimes make it hard for them to find the right way to express it.
The two kiss and for a microsecond consider having sex, but one yawn later the two decide their bodies need more sleep, so they hug each other and go to sleep.
And by the way, this episode of Station 19 is over. It’s been lovely watching our girls deal with their tiredness and lack of sleep through communication and hugs. See you next week here to discuss the next episode!
