Now couldn’t be a better time to talk about Twilight since Game of Thrones just ended. The two franchises literally have nothing to do with one another. It’s just mandatory to mention Game of Thrones for at least the next two months in order to stay relevant. Actually, one legitimate comparison that can be drawn between the two franchises is that a lot of characters die.
20. Riley Biers
The scene where Riley rises from the depths of the ocean is quite iconic for anyone who was sixteen at the time Twilight: Eclipse came out. Who is this mysterious water hunk? we pondered. That scene actually raises a lot of questions. Are vampires amphibious?
19. Laurent
Laurent is the only guy who can make unbuttoned shirts on-a-bare-chest look like an acceptable fashion statement. Like many other villains in the franchise, Laurent is one of Victoria’s followers.
18. Irina
Irina has resting bloodsucker face. She’s snarling whenever someone looks at her. It makes sense why she’s so upset. Laurent had been her beau until Jacob killed the guy. Irina wants to exact revenge against the Cullens due to the fact that they end up being friendly with werewolves.
17. Bree Tanner
Bree’s battle strategy is the stuff of legend. She simply hides behind trees while everyone else kills each other. Victoria transforms Bree into a vampire with the hope of using the girl against Edward.
16. Harry Clearwater
It needs to be told upfront. Harry had a really weird death. Like, it’s nuts. Most folks assume that Victoria killed Harry off-screen. It makes sense, right? The last anyone sees of Harry is when he’s struggling against Victoria’s grasp. But, nope! Harry dies of *drum roll please*…a heart attack?
15. Vasilii
Vasilii is the cutest pint-sized killer since Chucky. That’s why it’s unfortunate that he had to die. Vasilii is featured in one of Breaking Dawn Part One’s flashbacks.
14. Royce King II
Everyone knows something is up when a person has a name like Royce King II. One can’t be anything but a villain with that name. Flashbacks depict Royce as Rosalie’s fiancee back when she was still a human. Royce and his friends decide to violently conspire against Rosalie.
13. Sasha
It’s safe to assume that anytime Twilight features a flashback someone is going to die horribly. The events surrounding Sasha’s death take place centuries before the current Twilight timeline.
12. John
No one ever mentions John’s last name. Is it Wayne or Travolta? John isn’t a good guy. He’s one of Royce’s friends that assault Rosalie. Fear not, Rosalie makes sure John pays for his crimes.
11. Toshiro
Has anyone ever written any Toshiro fan fiction? If not someone should write it up! Our boy Toshiro merely has a cameo and ends up getting done way too dirty. Toshiro is a hobo vampire that wants to help Carlisle fight the Volturi. Aro finds out about Toshiro’s plans and kills him before he can reach Carlisle.
10. Gianna
Gianna A.K.A Secretary #1 is employed by the Volturi. She’s a human under the delusion that she’ll become a vampire. Unfortunately, she ends up being a snack for the Volturi instead.
9. Valentina
Remind us to never apply for the Volturi’s secretary position. Valentina replaces Gianna and meets the former secretary’s exact same fate.
8. Bianca
Yup, that’s right. Another secretary. Bianca delivers a note to Aro that mentions Carlisle. However, she misses Carlisle’s name. Bianca’s poor grammar ends up costing the girl her life. Let this be a lesson to the students that don’t pay attention in their English classes.
7. The Third Wife
We’re not going to bother talking about The First Wife or, heck, even The Second Wife. No, we’re about to dish about The Third Wife…whatever that means.
6. Waylon Forge
For the uninitiated Twilight fans, Waylon is also known as Buttcrack Santa. We’re going to call him that from here on out.
5. All “The Monsters” Edward Kills
This is the flashback sequence where Edward dresses like Lin-Manuel Miranda in Mary Poppins. When Edward first became a vampire he used his supernatural abilities to go all, excuse the reference, Batman on society. Edward only preys on bad guys or “monsters” as he likes to call them.
4. James
Who can ever forget James the shoeless vampire? James is Victoria’s main squeeze in the first Twilight. He nearly killed Bella until Edward came to the rescue. Edward and his whole family tear James limb from limb.
3. Victoria
It’s so weird that Victoria switches her face in between New Moon and Eclipse. Victoria is pretty much the main antagonist of the series until Aro steps in. She’s an evil vampire that has no problem killing innocent people.
2. Bella
Has anyone ever stopped to think about how wild the Twilight series could be? After Bella turns into a vampire she attacks a mountain lion and a rock climber in the exact same scene. Insane!
1. Everybody (But Not Really)
