For nearly a decade, NCIS fans watched the subtle, slow-burning connection between Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David unfold on screen. Their chemistry was electric, their moments unforgettable—and, as it turns out, completely self-directed.
In a recent revelation, Cote de Pablo, who played the fierce and complex Ziva David, shared why she rejected the use of an intimacy coordinator during her time filming with co-star Michael Weatherly. Her reason? A desire for creative freedom, mutual trust, and an instinctive approach to one of TV’s most compelling relationships.
Let’s take a closer look at what she said, why it matters, and what this tells us about the behind-the-scenes dynamics between Tony & Ziva.
Who Is Cote de Pablo? Revisiting a Fan Favorite
Cote de Pablo, born in Chile and raised in the U.S., brought a grounded intensity to her portrayal of Ziva David—a former Mossad agent with razor-sharp instincts, an icy exterior, and deep emotional undercurrents.
Introduced in Season 3 of NCIS, her character quickly became essential, not just for her spycraft and strength, but for the unspoken, smoldering romance with Tony DiNozzo, played by Michael Weatherly.
The Quote That Sparked the Conversation
In a recent interview, Cote de Pablo explained why she opted not to use an intimacy coordinator for scenes involving closeness or romantic tension with Weatherly. Her words were clear:
“We don’t want to be micromanaged.”
That one sentence speaks volumes about the dynamic she shared with her co-star—and how they preferred to keep their performances organic and actor-led rather than choreographed.
What Is an Intimacy Coordinator and Why Do They Matter?
Before we go further, let’s clarify what an intimacy coordinator actually does.
These professionals are hired on sets to:
-
Ensure actors feel safe and respected during intimate or vulnerable scenes
-
Help choreograph physical contact in a way that’s mutually agreed upon
-
Mediate boundaries and consent before and during filming
The rise in their use across Hollywood came in the wake of the #MeToo movement, aiming to build a culture of trust and accountability.
So, why did de Pablo say “no thanks”?
A Matter of Trust: The Relationship Between Cote de Pablo & Michael Weatherly
According to de Pablo, the foundation of her decision was deep trust and mutual respect between her and Weatherly. She explained that the two had built such a strong personal and professional relationship that they didn’t feel they needed outside mediation or choreography.
Weatherly’s Supportive Stance
Michael Weatherly reportedly left the decision entirely in her hands. He understood the importance of making sure his scene partner was comfortable and empowered—and trusted her instincts completely.
That kind of support is rare and deeply telling. It shows just how much the actors respected each other and understood their boundaries without needing a third party.
Letting the Scene Breathe: Why De Pablo Avoided Over-Choreographing Intimacy
Rather than meticulously planning every touch or glance, de Pablo and Weatherly let scenes evolve naturally. They understood their characters inside and out—and knew that over-directing intimate moments could strip them of authenticity.
Think of it like dancing with someone you’ve partnered with for years—you don’t need someone counting the beats for you. You feel it. That’s exactly what made Tony and Ziva’s romance so believable.
How the Decision Reflected the Tony & Ziva Relationship
Their dynamic was built on:
-
Tension without overexposure
-
Unspoken longing
-
Moments of vulnerability wrapped in sarcasm or silence
There were no steamy love scenes—just powerful emotional undercurrents. The chemistry was written between the lines. This minimalist style of romance worked precisely because it wasn’t overproduced.
The Industry Standard vs. Individual Choice
It’s important to note: Cote de Pablo was not criticizing intimacy coordinators in general. She simply felt they weren’t necessary for her and this specific role. Many actors welcome and even request intimacy coaches—especially on sets involving new partnerships, nudity, or complex emotional material.
Her take? Not every scene or situation calls for micromanagement.
Fans’ Reactions: Respect for Her Confidence
Fans applauded her for speaking openly about her process. Many agreed that the unique spark between Tony and Ziva couldn’t have been manufactured through choreography. Instead, their connection was raw, respectful, and real.
Some fans even said this insight deepens their appreciation for the performances, knowing how much trust went into crafting each shared glance or lingering touch.
Why Her Statement Matters in Today’s Hollywood
Cote de Pablo’s comments open the door to a larger conversation about:
-
Trust between co-stars
-
Autonomy in creative performance
-
The evolving role of consent and communication in media production
Her story is a reminder that while protections and protocols are essential, there’s also value in allowing experienced actors to lead the way when they feel confident and safe doing so.
What Michael Weatherly Has Said About Working with Cote
Though he hasn’t commented directly on intimacy coordinators, Weatherly has praised de Pablo’s “generosity” as a scene partner. In multiple interviews, he’s described their working relationship as “magnetic,” “electric,” and “based on mutual respect.”
He once said:
“There’s something about the way Cote works. You just know she’s fully present—and that makes you want to meet her there.”
A Turning Point for On-Screen Romance?
Could Cote’s approach signal a shift toward actor-led intimacy scenes on long-running shows where trust has been firmly established?
It’s not about rejecting safety—it’s about balancing it with freedom, communication, and instinct. And in the case of Tony and Ziva, that balance resulted in one of TV’s most talked-about love stories.
The Legacy of Tony and Ziva’s Romance
Even years after her departure, fans still bring up Tony and Ziva’s scenes as some of the most memorable moments in NCIS history. It’s proof that intimacy doesn’t always need to be physical—it just needs to be real.
And that realness, as we now know, came from trust, not choreography.
Conclusion
Cote de Pablo’s choice to forgo an intimacy coordinator during NCIS may seem bold, but it was grounded in something timeless: trust, experience, and creative instinct. Her decision—supported by Michael Weatherly—helped shape one of TV’s most emotionally charged and authentic relationships without needing a third party to choreograph it.
It’s a powerful example of how communication and respect between actors can create unforgettable performances—no micromanagement needed.
FAQs
Q1: Did Cote de Pablo criticize intimacy coordinators?
No. She simply said they weren’t necessary for her and Weatherly because of their strong working relationship.
Q2: Why did Michael Weatherly let Cote decide?
Out of respect. He trusted her comfort level and made sure she had control over how intimate scenes were handled.
Q3: Did NCIS have romantic scenes that required intimacy coordination?
Most of Tony and Ziva’s romance was subtle and emotional rather than physical, which may have made coordination less essential.
Q4: Are intimacy coordinators used more commonly now?
Yes. Since the #MeToo movement, they’ve become standard in many film and TV productions for safety and clarity.
Q5: Will we see more of Tony and Ziva?
Rumors of a spin-off or return have floated, but as of now, nothing official has been confirmed.
Thanks for reading! If this behind-the-scenes insight fascinated you, share it with fellow NCIS fans and let’s keep the Tony & Ziva magic alive.
