Being open and vulnerable was very uncomfortable. It took time [to get there], but it’s exactly what you need to be when you’re looking for love,” says Joan Vassos. Fine romantic advice in general, but for Vassos, America’s premier single senior, it was imperative for her journey on The Golden Bachelorette. The first-ever star of the new franchise feels “a lot of pressure. Being an O.G. is kind of epic. I hope I did it right.”
The 61-year-old widowed mother, grandmother, and former school administrator famously left the first installment of The Golden Bachelor in 2023 to help her postpartum daughter, just when Vassos and the guy with all the roses, Gerry Turner, were hitting it off.
“Seeing Joan’s journey with Gerry cut short due to her commitments inspired us to give her that second chance,” says Bennett Graebner, an executive producer, along with Claire Freeland. Joan’s decision to leave, Freeland says, shows how much “she’s a caregiver. I’ve never seen someone so courteous, so kind, so generous with time and being a listener.”
Vassos did some serious listening a month before the taping of the sister franchise began. She’d remained good friends with Gerry and asked for advice. She shares, “He said to be open, give everybody a chance, find out what they value. There’s not a lot of room for small talk.”
The newest Bachelor Nation fascination has empathy for Gerry’s shocking divorce from Theresa Nist after a three-month marriage. “They were in love. Eventually, they figured out it wasn’t right for them. The best thing to do at that point was to call it quits and live their lives.”
As for the scandalous revelation that widower Gerry had kept a secret — living with a girlfriend after losing his wife — Freeland says, “We undertake a lot of diligence on the show before anyone comes on the program. So, touch wood, I don’t think we have any of those issues [in this series].”
Match Game
After multiple interviews by the casting team, 24 men made the suitor’s circle. They include a Beatlemaniac ER doctor, a shipping consultant who once toyed with being a bodybuilder, and a Texas rancher who put dating on hold for 16 years to raise his kids.
Vassos is seeking someone who shares making family a priority, and she’s firm about not leaving her native state of Maryland, where they all live. To keep her homesickness at bay while filming, her daughters Allie and Erica (Vassos also has two sons, Nicholas and Luke) gave her a digital picture frame. “I would come home every night from filming tired. My little frame would be sending me the grandbabies on the Fourth of July or at the swimming pool. It was the greatest.”
The lively matriarch also has a clear vision of what she wants out of love in her golden years: “to be spontaneous and take a trip but also have the person you’re comfortable with just sitting at home and watching Netflix or having a glass of wine on your back deck.” As for marriage? “If I found the right person, I would be open to getting married again,” she says.
And she had no shortage of potential Mr. Rights. “There were many guys that were very interesting to me,” Vassos says of the season. Among them: Army vet Mark Anderson (the youngest at 57), who became a Bachelor Nation favorite after appearing in Season 28 of The Bachelor, when his daughter Kelsey Anderson won the heart of Joey Graziadei. “Aside from Mark being really cute and good-looking, we had a lot of the same values,” Vassos reports.
They also shared the pain of having lost their spouses. Vassos’ husband, John, passed away three-and-a-half years before taping began. During the show, she says, “I almost felt like I was being unfaithful, weirdly. I was encouraged to confront things and work through them in a short amount of time. It was healing.”
High-Speed Connection
The healing took place on a whirlwind of dates, including the re-creation of a 1980s prom. (You’ll see vintage prom pics of Vassos and the men.) Other highlights: Disneyland, a private jet to Vegas, and a fundraiser, Bare It All for Cancer, where the men stripped like Chippendales dancers.
Dating on camera wasn’t easy. “You’re dating in front of the entire world,” Vassos says. “I worried I wouldn’t have a connection and there would be awkward moments. Eventually, you forget the cameras.”
When it came to a first move, “I was going to let the guy [make it], definitely,” Vassos says. “Public displays of affection — I had to get over the fact that those were uncomfortable for me. But you have to find out if there’s a spark. It took a few weeks to throw caution to the wind. Sorry, kids! I’m going to kiss some people.”
The hope, of course, was to find something more. “I had a lot of sleepless nights. I would replay conversations. I needed to make sure I was doing a good job analyzing if I could picture a life with each man.” And? “I feel like the ending was exactly how it’s supposed to be.”
