Joan Vassos, the star of the first season of The Golden Bachelorette, made waves with her unique approach to Fantasy Suites. With three finalists—Chock Chapple, Guy Gansert, and Pascal Ibgui—Joan decided to forgo the traditional Fantasy Suite experience, prioritizing emotional intimacy over physical connection.
At 61, Joan was candid about her decision, sharing during an episode of the Off the Vine podcast that sex didn’t feel right for her in the context of the show. “I don’t judge anybody else for doing it. What’s good for them is fine. But it didn’t feel good to me,” Joan explained.
A No-Bed Rule for the Fantasy Suites
Joan expressed the importance of having off-camera time with her suitors but made it clear that the usual setup wouldn’t work for her. “I told producers, ‘I don’t want any beds in the room,’” she shared. “And I told the men, ‘We’re not doing the physical part of it. I’m sorry.’”
Instead, Joan’s Fantasy Suites featured couches rather than beds. She and the contestants would leave the room before bedtime, ensuring that the focus remained on meaningful conversations rather than physical intimacy.
“It’s also maybe a little uncomfortable waking up with somebody in the morning that you haven’t had that much time with,” Joan added. She felt that maintaining this boundary was also a way of respecting her final choice. “If I chose somebody at the end, he wouldn’t have to think of me having slept with the other guys,” she explained.
Family Influence on Joan’s Decision
Joan’s decision wasn’t just personal—it was influenced by her family. As a mother of four adult children—Allison, Nicholas, Erica, and Luke—Joan considered their feelings as she navigated the show.
“My kids were mortified at the idea of me having a traditional Fantasy Suite date,” she revealed. “They even think the name is disgusting. They’re like, ‘It’s just gross.’”
The Maryland native admitted that the concept made her children uncomfortable. “They said, ‘Oh my God. That’s so gross to even think about that with you,’” Joan shared, laughing about the shared awkwardness.
A Journey Through Love and Loss
Joan’s appearance on The Golden Bachelorette came after a deep personal loss. Her husband of over 30 years, John, passed away from pancreatic cancer in 2021. After going through therapy, Joan reached a place where she felt ready to explore love again, but it wasn’t an easy journey.
Her therapist offered a metaphor that helped Joan process her emotions. “You have two balloons. In one hand, you have John. In the other, you have someone else you’re interested in. You don’t have to let go of John to be able to hold this one,” Joan explained.
“That resonated so much with me because I felt like I had to let John out of my heart to let somebody else in,” she said. “Just that one little analogy got me through the rest of the season. I needed to know that it was okay to still have him in my heart.”
Redefining Romance on The Golden Bachelorette
Joan’s approach to Fantasy Suites reflects her authenticity and commitment to staying true to herself, even in the high-pressure environment of a reality dating show. By prioritizing emotional connections and respecting her boundaries, Joan has set a new precedent for what intimacy can mean in The Golden Bachelor franchise.
Her decision to embrace her family’s input and honor her late husband’s memory demonstrates the thoughtfulness that makes her such a compelling lead. Joan’s journey on The Golden Bachelorette is proof that love, at any age, can be redefined on one’s own terms.
