Joan Vassos, the star of The Golden Bachelorette, has made waves by becoming the first lead in Bachelor Nation history to remove beds from the iconic fantasy suites. In a candid interview with Us Weekly on October 16, the 61-year-old widow explained her decision to focus on emotional rather than physical intimacy during the overnight dates.
“I’m not someone who can have a physical relationship with more than one person,” Vassos shared, reflecting on why she wanted to take sex “off the table” during her season. Instead of the usual overnight arrangements seen in previous Bachelor and Bachelorette seasons, Vassos chose to shift the focus of her final dates. “I wanted it to be agreed that we would talk and have the conversations we need to have off-camera. We didn’t spend the night together,” she said, adding that she removed the bed entirely from the room.
The decision, which set her apart as the first-ever Golden Bachelorette, wasn’t made lightly. Vassos felt strongly about creating space for deeper connections without physical intimacy clouding her judgment. She also considered the feelings of her remaining suitors. “You gotta think, the person you’re potentially ending up with probably does not want to think of you, last week, having slept with the guy he hangs out with,” she explained. “It’s just weird.”
Fantasy suites are a long-standing tradition in the Bachelor franchise, spanning shows like The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise, and now The Golden Bachelor. These overnight dates usually take place with the final three contestants and offer the lead the chance to spend time with each one without the cameras rolling. But Vassos, who has been very open about wanting her journey to be emotionally driven, decided that the typical format didn’t align with her values.
Although she broke with tradition, Vassos emphasized that she wasn’t judging past leads who had different approaches. “Everybody needs to do it their way. I’m not judging,” she said. “The physical part is important at every age, but I think it’s more important when people are younger. Each of us needs to engineer the journey so it works best for us.”
Throughout her season, which debuted on September 18, Vassos has kept things more reserved than past leads. By her own estimate, she kissed only “five or six of the men” and has been more conscious about public displays of affection. “I don’t love public displays of affection,” she admitted. “That’s great you’re doing it, but no one really wants to see it. I was very conscious of that.”
Vassos’s journey on The Golden Bachelorette has captivated audiences, especially given her history on The Golden Bachelor. Last year, she made a strong connection with Gerry Turner, but her time on the show was cut short after her daughter had a medical emergency. She chose to leave the competition during week three to care for her family.
Vassos’s personal life has been marked by love and loss. Her first husband, John Vassos, passed away in 2021 at the age of 59 after battling pancreatic cancer. Together, they raised four children—Nick, 34, Erica, 33, Allison, 30, and Luke, 28—and Joan is also a proud grandmother to three grandchildren.
As Vassos continues her quest for love on The Golden Bachelorette, her approach has sparked conversations about the importance of emotional connection and personal boundaries, regardless of age. Viewers can continue following her journey on Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.
