I’m disappointed in every one of you who didn’t tell me how much I would enjoy the unhinged chaos of ABC Network’s 9-1-1. I’ve been laughing over the previews of the season premiere for a couple of weeks. So, even though I’ve never watched the show before, I jumped on it when Kaleena asked someone to cover it.
Is it always like this? Where everything that can possibly go wrong does, all at the same time? Or did they decide to go off the rails after Peter Kraus exited at the end of last season? (RIP Chief Bobby.) I don’t know the last time I laughed as hard as I did when Mark Consuelos’ Besos-inspired Tech Jerk was swallowed by a whale in part one of the three-part premiere. But what does Kelly Ripa’s husband being swallowed by a whale have to do with Angela Bassett going to space? I’m glad you asked. You see, his character has a Blue Origin-type space program. And to reward the first responder who saved his life, he decides to include her (and a guest!) on his next flight to space.
If you’re confused because Angela Bassett plays a cop and not a first responder, that’s OK. Aisha Hinds’ character is the one who saved him. She’s married to a character who is literally a rocket scientist! But she (Tracie Thoms) works for a company that has several pending lawsuits against Consuelos’ company, so she can’t go. Hinds decides to invite Bassett because she’s been grieving the loss of her second husband (Kraus) and isn’t doing very well emotionally. Nothing that a three-hour tour of space won’t cure!
On the day of the launch, which takes place in part two of the season premiere, there’s a 43% chance of a geomagnetic storm occurring that could cause problems. The network of satellites owned and operated by Consuleos’ company has already been affected, but there’s no way he’s scrubbing the flight. He needs the good publicity of sending “Every Day Heroes” up into space. His vapid, wellness influencer/trophy-wife (June Diane Raphael), an old guy who trained as an astronaut in the 1970s but never got to go (Geoff Pierson), and an obnoxious “solar energy entrepreneur” (Rio Mangini) are also strapped into the pod with them. The predicted geomagnetic storm takes out a bunch of satellites, and the pod is hit by a piece of space debris, turning it into the worst Gravitron ride ever.
Not only that, but now there are burning pieces of satellite entering the atmosphere, raining death and destruction onto L.A. from above. And those satellites were apparently very important and controlled a lot of stuff, basically turning L.A. into a sequel of Maximum Overdrive. Self-driving cars and a bunch of hospital equipment go haywire, putting everyone else in danger, too.
The team rescues a guy whose self-driving car is going around in circles in an intersection, only for him to immediately be struck in the face by a golf-ball-sized piece of satellite debris. Sorry to that guy, but it made me laugh. The make-up effects for that were very good. That surprised me, because the visual effects for the rocket launch and zero-gravity were not.
By the end of the second part of the premiere, the pod has been stabilized, Rio Mangini’s character has had a heart attack but has been revived, and Tracie Thoms’ character has figured out a clever way to communicate with the pod to help guide them back to earth.
I don’t know why this is being dragged out over three episodes (because they can!) But the teaser for next week indicates they’re not out of the woods yet, and everyone in the pod might still die from oxygen deprivation! At least six other subplots happen in these two episodes that I’m not going to get into. Suffice to say, they are all also pretty ridiculous, and I experienced great joy in waking up my cat with laughter while watching them.
Unsurprisingly, Bassett and Hinds do some really great scene work together. These are two actors punching above the lightweight class of the script. And Kenneth Choi is very fun to watch. He has captured the tone of this series perfectly as the interim chief.
