The Bachelor recap: A sea change in Malta
This week on “The Bachelor,” Joey takes his women overseas, and Sydney and Maria face off on a dreaded two-on-one date.
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Welcome to double Bachelor week, rose lovers! It’s the time in the season that all recappers (and probably some viewers) dread. We made it through the first two hours, which saw our Bachelor bring his harem to Malta.
Maria and Sydney are glum in the sun on ‘The Bachelor’. ABC
More on that later. Let’s go back to the mansion, where the women are in a somber mood after last week’s pool party drama between Maria and Sydney. Fortunately, host Jesse Palmer — in yet another snug and cozy sweater — is here with some happy news:
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Jesse Palmer is the bearer of good news on ‘The Bachelor’. ABC
That’s right, ladies! Joey is waiting for you in Malta. Stop screaming and start packing. Our Bachelor is already there, dutifully reciting terrible puns fed to him by producers: “By the end of this, I’m hoping to bring someone to the alta, but before I do that, I have to hang out in Malta!” As easygoing as he is, even Joey can’t abide by this terrible wordplay.
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Joey gives the producers’ awful pun two thumbs down. ABC
Once the women arrive at the (promotional consideration provided by) InterContinental Hotel and issue the required “oohs” and “aaahs” at their luxurious accommodations, it’s time for the first date card of the week. Lexi, you’re up!
Joey meets her in Valletta, the capital of Malta. They stroll through the picturesque cobblestone streets enjoying the 16th-century architecture, sampling some treats, and playing bocce with the locals. “Today just feels like I’m walking around Malta with my girlfriend,” says Joey. “And that’s exactly what I want it to feel like.”
You know who’s not feeling so good? Sydney. Back at the hotel, she complains in her confessional that her conflict with Maria is so bad, it’s affecting her health. “I’m exhausted, I’m lethargic, I’m breaking out.” Girl, that’s called jet lag. Get over it.
