While The Big Bang Theory often followed the sitcom playbook, the show’s Howard and Bernadette relationship offered a clever subversion of one tired trope. In many ways, The Big Bang Theory’s cast of characters wasn’t so different from most sitcom lineups. They may have shared nerdy interests, but Leonard, Penny, Sheldon, Amy, Bernadette, Howard, and Raj had a lot in common with the lead characters of How I Met Your Mother, Friends, and New Girl. There was the perpetually single male character, the happily married couple with children, and the central couple who constantly got together and broke up repeatedly.
By The Big Bang Theory’s finale, the show had followed many of the same formulae that made those hang-out shows successful. The popular but blatantly flawed breakout character, Sheldon, became a humbler, more palatable version of himself, much like Schmidt and Barney Stinson. However, not all The Big Bang Theory’s relationships were so predictable. One couple managed to buck a sitcom trend with their frank conversations about kids. Surprisingly, it was The Big Bang Theory’s most otherwise-stable pairing that starred in this storyline. Howard and Bernadette’s courtship was traditional, but their marriage strayed far from sitcom norms.
Bernadette’s Dislike Of Children Was A Sitcom Subversion
Howard Assumed His Love Interest Was Eager For Children
In most sitcoms, the male partner continued to work after the couple had children, while the female partner became a homemaker. Some more progressive shows depicted both parents working, but the female partner almost invariably wanted children and was happy to do the lion’s share of domestic labor. As surprising as it sounds, The Big Bang Theory subverted sitcom gender norms when Bernadette and Howard discussed children and Howard learned that Bernadette didn’t fit this confined bill. In their first serious conversation about kids from season 5, episode 12, “The Shiny Trinket Maneuver,” Bernadette revealed that she couldn’t stand children.
Howard’s love interest softened on the idea of children as time passed, and the couple eventually became parents. However, where The Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon fixed his self-centered character flaws as the show went on, Bernadette’s investment in herself wasn’t portrayed as a fault. She remained adamant that she didn’t want to have children unless Howard intended to quit his job and become a homemaker, since she refused to give up career opportunities that he didn’t need to sacrifice. This was an atypically bold stance for the sitcom character and one that was a welcome change from sitcom norms.
Howard and Bernadette’s The Big Bang Theory Setup Shifted Sitcom Norms
Bernadette Told Howard He Could Be A Stay-At-Home Parent
Bernadette went against the standard setup seen in traditional family sitcoms when she told Howard that he could quit his job and become a stay-at-home father if he wanted children so badly. Since Howard was primarily motivated by a vague fantasy of family life and his mother’s desire for grandchildren, he had never considered this prospect. While The Big Bang Theory wasted some supporting characters, Bernadette’s defiant viewpoint proves the show’s character writing could be sharp and perceptive. Clever, canny, and undaunted in every other respect, Bernadette wasn’t a character who would give up her ambitions for others.
This forced Howard to question why he wanted children, resulting in the couple’s eventual pregnancy feeling justified in narrative terms. The Big Bang Theory was more thoughtful than many sitcoms when it came to the subject of children, portraying the decision to have kids as one that required time, consideration, and emotional legwork. Howard and Bernadette’s journey to parenthood was more involved than many sitcom romances, where children are viewed as an inevitability after marriage. Admittedly, The Big Bang Theory did waste Penny’s potentially daring decision not to have children when the finale found her unexpectedly pregnant.
The Big Bang Theory’s Howard and Bernadette Arc Highlighted Real Issues
The Couple Struggled To Manage Childcare And Work Demands
However, Howard and Bernadette’s relationship made up for the show’s shortcomings when it came to Penny and Leonard’s sudden about-face. In season 11, episode 17, “The Athenaeum Allocation,” neither Howard nor Bernadette were happy to give up work or to give up staying at home with their children. Howard and Bernadette’s parenting struggles highlighted the very real problem of parents balancing time with their children and their earning potential, something that has become more prevalent in recent decades. As societal norms have shifted, the prospect of stay-at-home fathers, breadwinning mothers, and splitting domestic labor has become more commonplace and accepted.
Howard and Bernadette shared an atypically believable setup.
While Young Sheldon’s Georgie and Mandy spinoff is set to focus on a couple from the more traditional cultural landscape of the ‘90s, The Big Bang Theory reflected more recent social changes in Howard and Bernadette’s parenting. The pair ended “The Athenaeum Allocation” at an impasse, accepting that they both wanted more time with their children but also wished they could keep their careers afloat. In a television sub-genre where one-income households remain strikingly common, this was a relatable, realistic story that pushed back against sitcom norms. For many real-life parents, Howard and Bernadette shared an atypically believable setup.
Howard and Bernadette’s Relationship Made The Big Bang Theory’s Finale Worse
Leonard And Penny’s Parenting Journey Remains A Mystery
Unfortunately, not all the show’s relationship choices were as cannily handled as this underrated The Big Bang Theory moment. Although Leonard and Penny’s relationship was the show’s original focus, the couple’s choices around parenting were handled poorly. By revealing that Penny was pregnant in the finale, The Big Bang Theory left viewers without the chance to see how Leonard and Penny handled the same issues that Bernadette and Howard faced seasons earlier. To make matters worse, this twist also undermined a major element of Penny’s characterization. Until the finale, Penny had been clear about not wanting children.
It is rare to see a happily married sitcom couple actively choose not to have children.
As noted by Vulture’s Kathryn VanArendonk, The Big Bang Theory’s Penny was vociferous in her choice not to become a mother. She endured wheedling from Leonard, confusion from her parents, and snide jokes from Amy and Bernadette but remained solid in her conviction. It is rare to see a happily married sitcom couple actively choose not to have children, so this was a welcome subversion of expectations. However, the show’s finale undid this intriguing story with a twist that was both predictable and simultaneously lacked foreshadowing. The Big Bang Theory revealing Penny’s pregnancy felt inevitable, but wasn’t also rooted in an on-screen change of heart.
