Behind Officer Kevin Atwater’s tough, loyal persona on Chicago P.D., actor LaRoyce Hawkins hides a painful truth—one that shaped not only his performance but his entire life.
What fans didn’t know was that LaRoyce, long before he wore a badge on-screen, was abandoned by his own mother at just three years old. For years, he told friends he was raised by his grandparents. But no one knew the full story—until now.
In a bombshell 2024 podcast interview, Hawkins revealed the secret that had haunted him for decades: “My mom dropped me off at my grandparents’ house and never came back,” he said, his voice cracking. “No call. No letter. Just gone.”
The actor described growing up in Harvey, Illinois—a tough suburb just outside Chicago—under the care of his grandfather, a man he described as “part preacher, part soldier.” That upbringing gave Hawkins his discipline and drive, but the emotional wound of his mother’s absence never fully healed.
“I used to stare out the window at night, hoping a car would pull up and it’d be her,” he said. “But it never was.”
Hawkins channeled those emotions directly into his character on Chicago P.D.—especially in scenes where Atwater has to deal with betrayal, abandonment, or broken trust. According to castmates, LaRoyce sometimes refused to rehearse emotional scenes, choosing instead to experience them “raw” during filming.
“He doesn’t fake the pain,” said one crew member. “It’s real. You can see it in his eyes.”
But it gets even more shocking.
In 2023, as Hawkins prepared to direct his first Chicago P.D. episode, he got an unexpected call—from a woman claiming to be his mother. After over 30 years of silence, she had tracked him down through social media and wanted to reconnect.
“I was stunned,” Hawkins said. “There’s a part of you that always hopes. But when it actually happens, you feel angry, confused, scared. Why now?”
The reunion, which happened privately in a Chicago hotel, was reportedly tense and emotional. Sources say Hawkins refused to hug her at first and asked bluntly, “Why did you leave me?”
According to Hawkins, her answer was heartbreaking: “She said she was too young. Too scared. And that every day, she regretted it.”
Since then, Hawkins has been quietly trying to rebuild a relationship with her. He hasn’t confirmed whether she’s met his young son, but insiders say he’s taking things slowly—and with caution.
The Chicago P.D. writers, aware of his real-life story, are reportedly planning a major Atwater storyline in Season 12 about an estranged family member re-entering his life, inspired by Hawkins’ personal experience.
“I told them: if we’re going to do it, let’s make it hurt,” Hawkins said. “Let’s tell the truth.”
This revelation has only deepened fans’ appreciation for Hawkins. “Now I get why his scenes hit so hard,” one fan posted. “He’s not acting—he’s healing.”
As Chicago P.D. moves forward, so does LaRoyce Hawkins—turning his pain into purpose, one scene at a time.
