Here are the top 5 weirdest things you can buy from the official Yellowstone merchandise store, from cardboard cutouts to waffle makers.
Once you’ve watched Yellowstone once, you’ll get a hankering for anything cowboy-themed. The Duttons’ lives might be filled with murder, family trauma, and land disputes, but they’ve got a luscious ranch with plenty of style. Thankfully, there’s an official Yellowstone store that’s here to help fulfill the need for Dutton gear.
Anything you could possibly want (providing it’s related only to Yellowstone) can be found on the Yellowstone store. From home decor to games, clothing, and even pet accessories, it’s a treasure trove of strange and wonderful merchandise coming from Taylor Sheridan’s TV show. But there’s a lot of it, and among the predictable fare, there are some very unusual choices, too.
I’ve scoured through the Yellowstone store to pick out the strangest things you can buy, ranked from somewhat logical to completely off-the-rails. And honestly? …I’m a little obsessed with everything on this list.
5. Yellowstone Monopoly
SNOW COMMERCE/PARAMOUNTThis item actually makes the most sense. Yellowstone is about monopoly. With all the dirty business dealings coming from the various Yellowstone villains, this is about as good as franchise merchandise can get. And yes, before you ask, the game itself is themed around the show. (You would hope so, considering the price of this custom game board.)
The trouble with this particular product is that your ride-or-dies would have to be Yellowstone fans, too. Otherwise you’re just playing with very confused family members who’ll ask why you’re taking them to the “Train Station.” If you’re playing with fellow Duttonheads, then at least when the game descends into the usual viciousness that comes with Monopoly, everyone will understand what’s going on.
4. Yellowstone Eau de Cologne/Parfum
SNOW COMMERCE/PARAMOUNTThe concept of a fragrance created in honor of a TV show is an inherently odd idea, but especially for Yellowstone. What does this thing smell of? Blood?! I’ve never been on a cattle ranch, but I can’t imagine it smells like something you’d want to wear on a daily basis. On closer inspection, the product includes “earthy citrus” and “masculine woods” in the description, so perhaps the Yellowstone fragrance factory has taken some creative liberties with this one.
If this takes off, then TV-themed perfumes could potentially be a profitable business. Forget celebrity and designer fragrances making the rounds — I want everyone around me to smell like fictional characters.
3. Yellowstone Waffle Maker
SNOW COMMERCE/PARAMOUNTIt’s absolutely astonishing that the Yellowstone merchandise store would sell any food-related products, considering the Duttons can rarely get through a single dinner sitting. What’s more, a waffle maker is so off-brand. Why not a meat grinder, or a grill? The Duttons are not a waffle eating family, I’m sure of it.
At first, I wasn’t so sure about eating a waffle embossed with the Y brand logo. The last thing I want to think about while eating my delicious breakfast foods is all the slaughtered Dutton victims. (Bon appétit!) That said, looking at the final result… this kind of rocks.
2. “Don’t make me go Beth Dutton on you” Baby Bodysuit
SNOW COMMERCE/PARAMOUNTThe idea of dressing a baby in any sort of Yellowstone garb makes me very uncomfortable. Particularly when the clothing in question alludes to the trail-blazing, potty-mouthed minx known as Beth Dutton. But it looks like the top choices are either this or some reference to the Train Station, which seems equally as dodgy. Surely, Yellowstone-based children’s clothing should be limited to horses and outdoor motifs.
A baby doesn’t know who Beth Dutton is, and they don’t need to know. I’d really like to avoid my children growing up and telling me things like: “You are the trailer park; I am the tornado.” But then again, it’s 100% Combed Ringspun Cotton, so who am I to complain?
1. Rip Wheeler Cardboard Cutout
SNOW COMMERCE/PARAMOUNTFinally, I can sleep well at night, knowing this life-sized Rip Wheeler cutout will be menacingly rubbing his knuckles at me from across the room. Let it be known that this character cutout is a bestseller, which is an astonishing and worrying fact in itself. Of all the Yellowstone characters, Rip is hands-down the most violent and frightening of the bunch, But for those who are happy to watch his 2D stare follow you around the room, then at least the Yellowstone store has cornered that market.
But fear not, if Rip isn’t your bag, then there are plenty of other cutout characters to choose from. There’s Beth, Kayce, Colby, Ryan, Walker, Lloyd, Jimmy, and Teeter. For no reason at all, there’s also Spencer Dutton from 1923 — the only Yellowstone spinoff character you can buy in standee form. (Sorry to the James Dutton fans out there.)
