NEW YORK – In a shocking turn of events this Sunday evening, the NYPD confirmed that a “serious incident” took place inside the home of Commissioner Frank Reagan. The family’s beloved traditional apple pie mysteriously disappeared just minutes before the weekly Sunday dinner.
Eyewitness reports state:
-
Danny Reagan immediately launched a full-scale investigation, demanding fingerprints from all family members.
-
Erin Reagan objected, citing “privacy violations” and insisting on a proper warrant.
-
Jamie Reagan tried to mediate, but quickly became a suspect after traces of flour were found on his shirt.
Commissioner Frank Reagan, holding a brief press conference in the living room, stated:
“We’ve faced dangerous gangs and high-level criminals, but no one in this house has ever been bold enough to steal the apple pie… until today.”
Unofficial sources point to Henry Reagan as the prime suspect, reportedly caught “checking the quality” of the dessert… by eating half of it. The case remains under investigation and is expected to go to “trial” at next week’s Sunday dinner.
